Absurd Moments

She lies. Alone. Alone and unmoved. The silence- The silence embodies her. Emboldens her. See her sit, sleep. Alone she waits. Alone in darkness. Waiting for the words. Waiting for the words to come.

They left her long ago, when she was joyful and free. She took them for granted – forgot their meaning – lost sight of all they stood for and knelt under their strain. The strain, of her creation.

She lost them, slowly at first but quicker as she sees. Quicker in the darkness. She used to talk, even after they left. There was a time when she never stopped talking. Never stopped writing. Never stopped.

Now she must lie. Must wait.

Her eyes, once bright and buoyant lie still. She lies still. Still in darkness. See her lie, she spins faster and faster. Flies and lies. Lies still. Without words. Her words, their meaning – lies in silence.

In darkness she waits.

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”

Mama, where does the Sun go?

I don’t know.

Behind the hills?

I suppose.

Where else?

Through the sky.

After the sky.

I don’t know.

Behind the hills?

Yes, behind the hills.

(silence)

Mama, I’m going to find him.

Don’t leave me.

I’m going to find him.

Where?

Behind the hills.

Where else?

I don’t know.

Don’t leave me.

I have to go.

Behind the hills?

Yes, behind the hills.